Who would have thought?

Every year ends with most of us reflecting on the past and what we need to do better for the next. Sometimes we need to discover what needs to end so that we start something better. I started this blog in 2012 when I was only 22 years old hoping to help people out there who can relate to what I was going through. As much as it has helped people I want to use different avenues to do this.  Therefore, this will be my last post because I want to be sharing and motivating in different and better ways. I’m putting myself in a position of complete honesty and a little vulnerability so that I can help those who relate with me.

I turned 30 this year surrounded by the people I love.

30 & thriving

I didn’t feel that societal pressure for turning 30 because I feel like I have been in a good place. I spent it in Diani and had such a blast but also realized with age comes less tolerance for shots 😊.

Two things have really stood out for me this year. Those things include friendships/relationships and health. This year I have been the most consistent with working out. I have taken breaks yes but not too long a break. Just maybe the forced ones of when I get a homa or something like that. I have seen the potential my body has for a lot of things and didn’t know I could push myself to certain levels. That’s when having a good coach comes into place and also just finding like minded people to be around. At one point though I wanted to give up because I wasn’t seeing progress, so I sat with my coach and talked about what I need to change. The working out has come with really good numbers when it comes to my blood sugar levels and me having to use even less medication to maintain the diabetes. I also managed to lose a bit of weight and gain a lot more confidence in myself. Plus it really helps with stress.

However, I have also lost a lot this year with new ventures I tried taking up and also in trying to actually help people. Earlier this year I legit thought I would be able to make some extra cash by supporting a “friend” get into a business but to my surprise it was all a scheme to get me to lend the money and then have him go off the radar. Believe me I was pissed. You know the way when someone owes you money it becomes your problem and not theirs anymore? Yeah so when I saw that it was upsetting my peace and sanity more than it should I let it go. I think as you go learning you realize it’s better to pick your battles and remember what you have been blessed with and leave the rest to God. So I am here wiser and happier now that I have my peace back.

Some of my friends make fun of me for watching divorce court a lot but I actually pick up on one or two relevant messages. Being a good person is important, but it is not to be taken advantage of. And sometimes that means not being very nice to everyone around you especially when it comes to relationships. We don’t take our time to get to know someone before rushing into being in a relationship or even a situation-ship with them. At least I didnt. You find yourself doing wifely duties for them while they are reciprocating it by doing bachelor things with you for the sake of appearing to be a couple to the public. I went on with this facade for so long with someone I was dating with the impression I am helping them through their hard times and being a good woman for it. A person needs to be in a good place mentally and physically before they can be with you. If you’ve put in so much work on yourself, they have to do the same for themselves. Just don’t get stuck in such a situation.

December has checked in on a high note for me. I felt so alive for accomplishing majority of my goals and hitting a lot of my bucket list. This year I was able to do a bit of traveling, saw the beautiful beaches of Zanzibar, hiked and swam at ngare ndare forest in Nanyuki, visited Johannesburg and went skydiving, bungee jumping and rode on some roller coasters. What more could I ask for surely?

Skydiving  in Joburg

Zanzibar

 

Bungee Jumping at Soweto Towers

Ngare Ndare forest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But God said that I have to learn one more lesson before the year is over.  It actually inspired me to write this last post. I meet someone and think “what better way to end this year with someone by my side”. Then I did this rushed thing again where as fast as they got into my life is as fast as they left. And just like that I was in and out of a relationship. This is when I saw how the past lessons in turn have helped me because I would have initially taken this to be a blow in the face but I see it as the reason why my year must end on a high note. After being able to do so much this year nothing is meant to hold me back and start 2020 the right way. My health has significantly improved (it’s like I’m aging backwards), my close friends have just been amazing to me this year, I’ve had such an amazing relationship with my sister, and then all my travel experiences? By the way the world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe it to yourself to seek this journey of happiness through experience. I handle predicaments so much better now. There’s no time for vengeance or trying to prove something to people who really don’t matter.  Who would have thought this is how this year is going to end for me but I could not be more grateful for it.

Grateful and Happy

Don’t let the challenges here and there hold you back. Start one day at a time, bit by bit and things will start happening. You know how they say if you’ve got it, flaunt it? If you have put in the work for yourself spiritually, mentally and physically then you deserve good things for yourself. I believe in positive affirmations and having a peace of mind at the end of the day. Stay winning in 2020. See you on the flip side.

I am beautiful, I am happy, I am blessed

 

 

Breaking a sweat

I was watching an interview on YouTube where this very beautiful lady with a good body was saying she has only stepped in a gym like twice in her life. I would have once cringed at that but we are all different. I loved playing games in primary school and a few years of high school as well. However, there came a point where running round the field was like my worst punishment. I tried playing almost every sport such as basketball, hockey, rounders and netball. Then when I was diagnosed with diabetes I was just always tired and didn’t care about sports anymore.

When I went to University I intended to join the basketball team and went for a few practice sessions. I was the only freshman there and it intimidated me a bit so I stopped going.  After that I didn’t care much for sports or exercise but instead decided to get the “full university experience” but it didn’t really help my health much. Of course this included drinking and such like activities. Kwanza there were some bhajia’s that we would go look for in Rongai cause supper in school totally sucked. After I got my cataracts removal surgery I decided I needed to take things a bit more seriously. I’d wake up at like 5am to do Zumba and Tae bo in the house. I actually really enjoyed it a lot. Then I felt it was becoming a bit too monotonous so I asked my folks if they would pay the gym for me. I went to the gym and was able to run longer and started using weights here and there. So at my heaviest I was over 100kgs at some point.  Seeing that on the scale made me get so depressed. I tried all the fad diets from Atkins to Mayo and a few others and always looked for a quick fix.

I would watch shows for losing weight for motivation. My favourite was “biggest loser”. I thought that would make me become consistent but it surely did not. The problem I had was that I was always looking for quick and simple solutions. I would envy every lady I saw who didn’t have to struggle with weight issues. I have always been on the heavier side and trust me I come from a family where we really like our food. But there was something that would always push me to keep trying no matter what. I actually ended up losing a few kgs from adjusting my eating habits in small ways. For example I’d reduce the amount of carbs on my plate or look for more veggie options and try stick to simple foods. I had initially wanted to lose weight for all the wrong reasons. Now, when my health improved, it became my biggest motivator. I felt amazing and even started becoming more adventurous by going for boot camps and running marathons.

I feel so good about myself and my body and have finally accepted myself for exactly the way I am. I feel this new kind of self confidence all because of working out. I can sometimes slack which is okay just as long as I get back on that wagon. I am not looking to be the fittest or the strongest but of course to be the best version of me. As a woman I think it’s also important not to look at other women for comparison or competition but instead complement them. Trust me everyone has their own insecurities so just because someone out there looks like they have it all together doesn’t mean that’s the case. Also don’t forget to celebrate your small achievements. We are all different and we can’t all have big butts/hips, tiny waists and thick thighs. Right now I really love what I am doing in the gym and still have a knack for kickboxing. I give everything I do my all. Whether it’s deadlifts, squatting or pulling. Breaking a sweat is my new sense of thrive. Helps with health, stress and confidence. This is my 30 and thriving year

 

 

 

Sometimes, I’m not quite sure

I tend to want to wait to accomplish something before I share it with others. Sometimes I don’t want to reveal what’s happening just in case I don’t follow through.  But the journey is just as (if not more) important as the destination. Lately I’ve been trying to adapt to better discipline techniques, organize my own time and be consistent in it. I really admire the people who have made their passion into their job through working smart and discipline. End of February is coming up and you know after this month is over the year just tends to run and before you know it, you’re a year older and we are making new year resolutions all over again.

This year I started at a new gym called alphafit (it’s a bomb gym) where they do crossfit training and other things. At first I was a bit intimidated because I had never done this type of training before and everyone I saw there looked like they were meant to be in some kind of fitness commercial. It’s like look good first to come work out here or something. The whole thing was all in my mind though because the more I went there the more I became aware of all kinds of people training. Earlier on in my life when I had my complications with diabetes I really lost all my strength at some point, so from that time (say 14 years ago)  I have always wanted to be stronger. Even opening a bottle of water was troublesome. Right now I am doing things I never saw myself doing and understanding so much more about my body.

The feedback I get when I post my workouts on instagram sometimes can be interesting. Things like “why do you have to lift such heavy weights?” or “why don’t you try this diet or that diet instead of doing all that?”. Sometimes it’s not out of ill-intention but I have to remember what my specific goals are.  I am also trying out this intermittent fasting thing. Trust me I was not one to try out anything that has the word fasting in it but here I am. I just started it and so far so good. I had to learn about fasting when diabetic and I have not fainted or anything so something good must be happening.  I don’t always know how things will turn out in the end but I know that I must keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone to achieve certain goals. I have a great coach who does not force me to be on some strict, unrealistic or short term diet but instead explains what I need to consume to be able to be at my optimum levels while working out.  He also doesn’t make me do a ton of cardio (like I have done in the past) just because I am on the heavier side.

To be honest in these past two months, my body has reacted in a very positive manner and I look forward to learning more about form and technique instead of checking my weight everyday.  I intend on following through with this program for the rest of the year because of how good I feel. I used to do kickboxing and have every intention of resuming at some point. However, instead of waiting for the time to pass to reveal my wins or losses, I intend to share this journey every step of the way. Happy and healthy is always the goal. 16 years a diabetic, 8 weeks more powerful and almost 30 years flourishing and thriving.

It is what it is

Are you one of those people who tend to get influenced by the things happening around you? Especially now that valentine’s day is this week, there will be flowers in the office, advertisements all around you with their special love deals and of course social media galore of vlogs, gifts and gestures. This year has been a good year for me so far. Getting away from a 9 to 5 has been both refreshing and eye opening. But at the same time, it has given me time to think and reflect quite a bit

So even if everyone says you shouldn’t overthink it, I keep pondering on whether I have accomplished enough especially now that I am turning 30 in like a month and some. Once in a blue moon this feeling of anxiety overwhelms me. I always thought I’d have a family by now and all. I have actually never celebrated Valentine’s day before. I know it’s a thing of men saying it’s just another day and love can be celebrated on any day of the year. Then the women are anxiously waiting for their gift or whatever surprise they may get. I think it should just be an agreement between the two of you on whether to celebrate it or not so that no party gets disappointed.

We have this habit of looking at or comparing ourselves with others and feel a bit insignificant than the next person. This leads to depression or anxiety or just general bad days. I may at times subconsciously compare myself with others however, I have to go back and remember how much I am blessed. Life is full of blessings.

As much as I’d have wanted so much more happening in my life right now, there have been unexpected and better things happening too. If it’s a gift I feel I lack from a significant other, then I remember all the surprise gifts my friends and family have ever given me. My ex boss actually sent me flowers in the office one time and I loved them because I very rarely receive those. Then my other ex boss got me sugar free cupcakes. Let me tell you, when someone makes the effort of a gift and remembers exactly what I can and can’t have, it melts my heart because they have paid attention. If it’s love and support then it feels good actually giving back to someone else. If its quality time then it’s important to do things that you love and remember to be grateful that you are in a position to do them.

At the moment I am really working on my health. Trying to focus on working out and being active to have my blood sugar readings up to per. It’s actually been a struggle recovering from the bad eating and drinking habits from December but we are getting there. Stress has really gone down so I am also keeping myself focused on all that I want to achieve these coming years of my life. There are some things that you can’t change or control as a person especially when it involves other people. So, I have been practicing how to be calmer and more attentive because you know, adulting and all can be a bit strenuous at times. For the things I can’t well it is what it is. Whether you believe in it or not, Happy Valentines 😊 Show someone some love this week. Even yourself.

I love to love

This year things have been going pretty well from the outside looking in but I must admit that I have struggled a bit. Struggled with focusing on my happiness and forgetting some tough times need to come along with those genuinely happy moments. Thus resulting in making me complacent with everything around me i.e. my job, health and friends. The last doctor’s visit to my endocrinologist was not exactly what I expected. I had a HbA1c (this is the average blood sugar level of a person over a period of 2 to 3 months) of 7.2mmol/L. This is not too bad but in my 15th year of being a diabetic I like and need anything below 6.9mmol/L. Slowly I had been losing myself in not being so strict on myself anymore. I would wake up and smile all day long but inside I would feel as if I have no main purpose to fulfill.

I just needed to ensure that I didn’t let myself fall into depression. Therefore, I would still remind myself of things to be grateful for. At times it’s okay to go through this. Understanding your worth isn’t going for events to show off, it isn’t about dressing up to go to places you don’t even want to go. It’s about being present in the here and now. It’s about  understanding that mistakes are made along the way and getting to learn more about yourself through these mistakes. It’s about loving yourself to know how to grow, how to face your fears, how to be vulnerable and how to just let go. Let go of that fear, let go of people’s opinions, let go of trying to please everyone and let go of people you do not need in your life anymore.

This is the longest time in the past three years that I had gone without working out. I was once again looking at my body like I was giving up on it. I was losing grip on a lot of things because I just didn’t care about myself enough to do anything about it. I needed to make a couple of brave steps towards changing my life. I know when I don’t do something that I love or that I am fulfilled with, then I don’t do it wholeheartedly. I recently took a leap of faith and changed some things in my life a bit unexpectedly.

I don’t know how to not to love, I don’t know how not to be honest with the things I love and I don’t know how to be anyone else other than myself. I do know that I want to be a better person everyday. I know that I am not perfect but perseverance and determination take you a long way. As long as everyday I pray and believe I can change for the better then hope is not lost. If today someone let’s me down or I am disrespected, it means that tomorrow I know better and earn my respect the next time. I know how to judge better and on who I can rely on (including myself). If I don’t work out for a month it means that I start today and go for a walk, then a jog then do more and more to challenge myself. It means continuously reading, learning and informing myself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with falling off the band wagon once in a while. Just don’t stay off it for too long.

This has actually been one of the most amazing years of my life. I got to travel for the first time, I got to experience new places in Kenya (still ongoing), I got to meet some new amazing people in my life and I got some maad confidence in who I am and what I have become. As the world celebrates world diabetes day today I want to celebrate all the diabetics I have come across in my 15 years. I love you all for becoming my family and keeping me going, for not judging me and being patient with me. And I want to appreciate all those who support us as well. Fall in love with helping and seeing other people happy and fall in love with a better version of you everyday. 

 

 

Adult-ting

When you meet your pals and ask “so how’s life?” and they respond to say “this adult-ting thing bana, but we are just hustling tu”. How true is it? I mean I wish we were taught things about growing up in school. Things like taxes, rent, utility bills, real estate, investments and all. Unless you took a keen interest in it, it must have hit you hard especially when moving out or finishing uni.  I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately mostly because I feel like I want to live my last year of my 20’s to the fullest and still think about my future.

I find most of my weekends being taken up by a ka ruracio here or a baby shower there or someone’s wedding. Which is good because I am at that age where those things are happening in people’s lives. But now one day you wake up and you ask yourself what’s happening in your own life. It becomes this sudden panic of okay so this is what is in my bank account and this is what my job is paying me and I’m still single and this is what is in my name (if anything at all). Tell me how many people’s lives have been taken by this thing called depression? mostly elevated by societal pressure. This is how it is though isn’t it? We can’t change the pressure and what’s happening around us, we can only change ourselves. So what’s next?

I have given myself so many excuses in the past. Things like I can’t lose weight because it’s in my genes and it runs in the family or I can’t save right now because I’m not being paid enough. Excuses can be so many.  Those people called my friends who always say they are going to join me in the gym. 3 years later and I’m still waiting 🙂 I decided to write down all these things that I want to happen in my life and just start immediately. I wrote and wrote and looked at them or thought about them almost daily. I didn’t want to ask myself the same questions  in 5 years or even 2 years. Even just being confident enough to ask someone how they made it through a certain aspect in their life was doing something. On weekdays, by the time I am getting home I am so tired because I have done everything I can to make the most out of that day. That’s why I think being a parent is a skill because I keep thinking if I had kids the job wouldn’t end when I get home.  Anyway the thing is to just stop making excuses. It’s always seems to be someone else’s fault why this and this is not happening in your life.

However there is a balance. The balance is to make sure you don’t give yourself too much pressure and not be comfortable where you lay. I can honestly say sometimes I can be lazy to do some things in the house and so it’s still a work in progress. But just to make sure I don’t stay in my comfort zone I remind myself how I don’t want to be in this same spot when I am turning 40. The balance is also not looking at the chic I went to primary school with and see that she has 3 kids or the one I went to uni with and see how she is travelling the world na bado I’m here doing my 8 to 5.  Balance is  investing in myself, my time and my money. I am investing in my friends and my family and if there is nothing I want to change then I will do the same thing day in and day out. My friends who know me well know that I like to plan. Especially when it comes to meeting up. I really don’t understand why you have to ask me out to hang the day before. Even when a plan is made, why you can’t tell me early enough that we need to cancel. It’s not even about liking the person a lot or a little but just plain respect. (However I can be exceptionally random sometimes)

The best thing about getting older for me is not feeling guilty about being myself or expressing myself.  I can’t say that I am totally not afraid of getting older but I can say for sure that it hasn’t stopped me from anything. I am embracing it and feel like I’m growing older but getting younger. I am happier, more stable and decisive and mistakes don’t feel like it’s the end of the world anymore. Starter pack for getting older is just different for everyone, so create your own meme for it. Let me sit and sip my whiskey in peace as I think how adult-ting has not been so bad to me after all.

Staying sane

 

I had no idea these things would happen to me

I know I keep saying how happy I am like all the time but honestly not everything always goes exactly the way I want it to go. The thing is, I see things happening now that I didn’t think would happen to me or that I would reach certain places in my life. Some things stay the same but others change. To stay happy and thankful I think we all need to discover ourselves a bit more every year. Yes it was my birthday and I turned 29 on Sunday so felt like doing a bit of self evaluation.

1. But why does it matter? I don’t mean this to sound vulgar but you know that song for Big Sean? Yes that one with the language? (Trying to make this as PG as possible) It’s a reference of how you should just not care about some things. I put up a video on my instastories of me looking at myself in the mirror thinking how me not going to the gym for 5 days has gotten me so off track and this person comments of how my low quality video should not be up and how I should know better. That’s what I mean I just don’t care about that stuff anymore. I’d take those opinions to heart but now it’s like, its not worth the defense.
2. Take me as I am. I am so comfortable in my own skin. I like to look pretty of course but I like my arms and kinky hair and all that ( i was told my hair is a type called 3C. I wonder what kinda girl a 3C is 🙂 ) I would always compare myself to others but now not so much. Before I leave the house I look at myself in the mirror and go like, “look at you simply amazing person”. Try it, it works. You’ll end up having an amazing day.
3. Who’s coming? So when I go out somewhere, my intention would be about who I’ll meet or I just have to meet someone at this party or something of the sort. Now it’s more of, I just want to have a good time and a good laugh. I want to have great conversations that when I go home I feel how worth it was for attending that event.
4. Pressure for who? I don’t feel abnormal, slow, pressured or undesired because I’m single. With all these articles going round of how single hood is like some sort of condition I am just okay with it. I just don’t have the desire to always be on the look out. I really enjoy my own company and believe things happen at their own time. I’ve stopped holding on to always wanting to be with that certain person at that particular time and instead just make an effort to go through experiences.
5. Takeaway please I struggle to finish my food sometimes. I know this one sounds so funny but for reals. I had an appetite for like 10 people for the longest time and now it’s more like “can you pack the rest please?” However I still love my food.
6. Ati, its whose concert again? I really don’t like overly crowded places. No thanks. I want to be comfortably seated or if they deliver please do. I keep saying how hanging out in the house is such a good plan or driving out somewhere. Disclaimer: Please do not refer to my instagram pics for evidence 🙂
7. Let’s play a game Remember the things I was saying that don’t change? Well I am still one big kid. You can ask some of my friends. I still like cartoons and I can play with my niece and nephew for hours. I do these weird things like sway my legs back and forth or sit upside down and forget my age sometime.
8. What’s today’s work out? I really hate missing my work out sessions. I want to be active like every single day and keep giving myself challenges. I am not there yet but I am so happy that I still haven’t gone more than a week of not working out in a very long time.
9. Slaying Now, this slay queen situation. I really don’t understand it but eh I am okay with my simple none existent shape of my eyebrows, my none foundationed skin and my real and clear nails. I don’t want to use 5 different things for my eyes or wake up 30 mins earlier for my make up. I use lip stick, eyeliner and eye pencil. And just like that I am transformed. My skin isn’t perfect but i also don’t purchase any cleansers or many many things to do to my face. Its wet wipes and Nivea. Even Vaseline sometimes. I love my mum’s complexion and she uses nothing so let’s hope the genes keep pushing me. Eating well helps too.
10. Shoesssss See I just love shoes. Did I think I would ever? Nope, but I do.
11. Forget about it There will always be people who just don’t like you. I always used to find out why so and so doesn’t like me and the way I am so nice to them. Actually they will highly dislike you for no reason at all. But now if they are not directly associated with you, please just ignore it. If they are, like you have to work with them, just do your job well, the rest will follow.
12. No Thanks I have finally learned how to say NO. Say no to people who are toxic in your life(we call them fun times people but really they are get me broke and in trouble people). Please say no to those who keep asking for unreasonable favours and say no to people who treat you any less of a person than you actually are. Just have those few who love you just the way you are.
13. Wellness I didn’t think I would regularly check on my health. No one likes to hear that there is something wrong with them and because I am diabetic I would hate for anything else to be wrong. But then you know it’s just so much better to be aware of the status of your health. Don’t wait till the last minute to find out nothing can be done. Keep checking. So far so good and plus my diabetes is doing really well. (Thank you God)
14. Meal prep manenos Stick to a meal plan. This was something I was never able to do and never thought I had to do but now I am so conscious of what goes into my body.
15. I’m sorry, this can’t work Don’t fear rejection. Whether it’s from a proposal at work, a job regret, a guy or a friend, it’s one of those doors closing type of situations. I hated giving my opinion in the fear it will be rejected but no more. This has made me a much stronger person.
16. Be real Which brings me this point. I don’t know if I should call it brutal honesty but I am really finding it relieving to just be honest with the things I like and don’t like.  Please don’t grind on me when you have just met me and want to dance, don’t interrupt my gym schedule to make me go eat calories I don’t want to and please I just want to stay home tonight.
17. Pray. I have realized the importance of having a place where I can go cry out all my frustrations. Where I can ask for guidance and peace. It keeps me very sane. It also give me vision on the track I need to follow to get to my goals.
18. Save & Plan I ate yesterday, I ate today, I want to eat tomorrow and I want my kids to eat too. This is really something I have learned from my late father. Even with that ka first salo, put something small aside because when you get the big money’s you have already disciplined yourself for the future.
19. Give The more you give the more you receive. Even the small things. If you are in a position to help someone and your instincts are giving you a thumbs up, please go ahead and do something about it. Look for ways you can help people. Remember that time you needed help, someone coming through for you would have really helped. Now you can be that someone to someone else in need. It’s actually a really good feeling,
20. Shine bright Finally don’t let the past define your future. The scars of my depression period, years ago are still there but the person who has risen from it is becoming a star. No one can tell me any differently.

 

Really? Pet Peeves of diabetic beings

Huh????

Let me just start by saying I was a bit ignorant about what diabetes was back then. But this being my 15^th year, wait 15 years already? If my diagnosis was a child they would be a teenager by now 🙂 So you can imagine how many comments I’ve heard since then. I don’t blame them all because I too was once ignorant. The funny questions or comments stop being irritating and start being funny

Is it diabetes for salt of for sugar?

Google is our friend and I do not think I have seen Wikipedia or something similar defining diabetic types to be for salt or for sugar. I will define it as the body’s inability to produce insulin. Insulin is a hormone produced by the pancreas that is used to control the blood sugar levels in your body. So if you are diabetic, the insulin produced is either inefficient or not there at all. This is where the medication comes in. Salt increases blood pressure not blood sugar. Let me put a disclaimer that I am not a medic but I personally don’t have “diabetes for salt”.

Is that what you are eating?

This is similar to, “aren’t you big enough? Should you be eating that with that weight?”. You shouldn’t be eating bad food at any weight but then again we are all different. “Now that you have told me what I am eating is bad, I can go ahead and live a better life”, said no one ever. How we communicate to people is very important. Yes, I know I am diabetic and I know I can’t eat or should limit myself to some things but not according to a person a barely even know. If it’s intended to be in a helpful manner, you can try suggesting it as opposed to rebuking it. I don’t know you like you like that man. We are different and the way one person takes to being diagnosed with diabetes is not the same as another. We eat different things but the no. 1 priority is to be healthy and keep those blood sugar levels on point. Please note what your 90-year-old grandmother eats because she is diabetic is not what I should be eating.

Can you pass it to me?

Well unless you are my child then sure I can pass it to you. Diabetes is a non-communicable disease, which means you cannot get it through touch, a cough/sneeze, sex or anything of the sort. So no your girlfriend or boyfriend won’t give you diabetes. It however it can be inherited if it is in the family but it’s not inevitable for you to get it. So just eat right and be healthy whatever the situation.

But you’re so small, how can you have diabetes?

This one doesn’t apply to me but still an annoying question. While being obese can contribute to someone getting diabetes, it can also be hereditary and since there is still no official cure for diabetes a small person can be diabetic. But honestly we should be over the stereo type that small people are healthier than bigger people. At the end of the day if you don’t eat right and you aren’t active at all then you are prone to a lot of things, not just diabetes. Small or big, skinny or fat, get your ass up and live a healthy life.

 

These are just some of those “really, did you just ask that?” kinda questions. All in all, we need to be more cautious on how we approach people when it comes to their health. Especially when you know nothing about the illness they have or the person they are or even what they are currently going through. Maybe ask questions and inquire. No one asks to be sick but we take the next step to getting better. Do not attack anyone or blame them for what is going on especially if you are not knowledgeable about the situation. Be happy and be healthy. Stay woke. #fitdiabetic

 

Living the best days of my life

Dear Diabetes,

When I learned about your name I only thought you were involved with older people. You were the sugar monster from far away. Then one day I saw you getting a hold of my dad. He seemed to accommodate you well so I still didn’t think too much of you. One day you came into my life. I received a harsh introduction from you. I remember a lot of tears and sudden introduction to pills and injections. I was only fourteen years old and I was told you came in two different types being 1 and 2.  This was confusing at first because you were both the same but yet recognizing different. Your influence on me meant I couldn’t eat and act like others my age. But I refused to listen to how you wanted me to live my life and because of this I started getting weak, so weak I could barely play any sports or even walk ups stairs comfortably. I started running to the bathroom every other minute because my bladder couldn’t handle it. I suddenly lost 20kgs and my eye sight just got worse. I really hated you and because of this I got very depressed  but nevertheless I figured rejecting you into my life wasn’t such a good idea because there were so many consequences to deal with.

So I decided to try again. Took up all the recommendations I was given by the doctor and started to feel good again. I must admit I didn’t want any of my friends knowing about you at first. I already felt ashamed of my body and took in the teasing from my peers about my size. I couldn’t take any more judgement. But whether I liked it or not you were here to stay and not going away. I tried to pray you away or take short cuts but none of them worked. I grew up with you and as much as I thought I was in control of you, I really wasn’t. I realized this when I developed cataracts. It was an eye opener both mentally and physically especially after I had them removed at 19 years old. I knew I couldn’t be struggling in this alone. This made me go out and start looking for others like me. I found them and at all ages. Both younger and older than me and decided I can start an online group where we can share how you came into all our lives. The stereotype that you only affected old people was totally wrong. With this group I learned that others had struggled much worse than I thought I had. Through this I realized I had a bigger purpose than just trying to barely control you. I could use the way you used me but this time to make a better and stronger version of myself and at the same time help as many people as I could. I didn’t care whether I wasn’t the standard size society wanted me to be but I would be the best person I could be.

I felt really good when I put in the work. When I ate in a way my body agreed to, when I consistently became active and changed the way I handled stress. You became more of a friendly monster that only attempted to scare me when I did wrong to you. My prayer is that one-day no one will be defeated by you but encouraged instead.  You may have taken a few lives and others may be really suffering because of you but not me. You started out being the worst thing that happened to me in my early age but now at 28 years old I have never felt stronger.  So thank you for transforming me to this beautiful young lady who has a purpose, a drive and the alertness that the only thing that can stop me from living my life to the full is me.

Your weak friend gone strong,

Lorna the fitdiabetic

I just can’t help laughing about it

This life of ours is just so funny. I think we just need to flip the things that are meant to break us and see the humour in them. I keep laughing at myself now because of some of the silly that happen to me as a diabetic and probably most diabetics but we aren’t all the same.

Where did I put my keys again?

This tends to happen to many of us especially as we grow older. So sometimes I’m like “Did i take my meds today?” hmmmm. So you decide to take them again just in case. Then it hits you, “damn it, I did take them and now I have taken them twice”. Even worse is when you are on insulin and take it twice. Oh well *shrugs shoulders and gives excuse to eat more and recover  🙂

Slow motion

I remember the days for when I was weak due to high/uncontrolled blood sugar readings. So I would fall a lot and I mean a lot. Then sometimes you don’t even know what you have fallen from. You look back and be like “now how did grass trip me?” Lol. Now when people have witnessed this falling from nothing, it looks like you’re in slow motion. You literally don’t feel in control of your own body so you just let it happen and fall. The best way to feel better about an embarrassing situation is just to laugh it off . It actually makes you start genuinely laughing (with the chance of also making you look a bit nuts but what is life without those moments)

I see you. Okay, maybe I don’t really

This one reminds me of Penguins of Madagascar when they go like “just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave”. So I had cataracts for some of my years and then had them removed in 2008. My eye sight improved but it’s still not exactly perfect. So in class, in Uni more precisely, I wouldn’t see the lecturers facial expressions very well depending on the light in that room. They could be talking with joy or disappointment  but I would just be there smiling and nodding my head agreeing to whatever they are saying. Then now when I am out somewhere and someone waves at me very vigorously, I would wave back with the same enthusiasm but then again find out it’s not me they are waving at. Oops 🙂 So now I just smile and wait for them to come closer to see if I really know who they are. Guys, I am not a snob okay? Now you know.

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol 

Let me start with don’t drink if you don’t have to and especially if you are underage. So yes I do have my drink every now and again but on certain terms and conditions. I have to check my blood sugar readings before and after and I try not to over do it, or take drinks with mixers like soda (unless it’s coke zero), or do cocktails that I don’t know what’s in them and such like things. But now you can actually feel like you are drunk just because your blood sugar is high. It’s kinda funny because if your blood sugar rises and you are drinking you can feel high and not because of the booze but because of the spike. That time you have had very little alcohol or even maybe no alcohol at all (seriously you’re just full of energy). But that’s why you have to check yourself before and after  you drink. So I don’t always blame it on the alcohol.

I think I just pee’d a little 

I think maybe if you are pregnant, sick, under the age of 10 years or are just really really pressed then you have gone through this. Now imagine you can’t just help to control yourself but also can’t help having a good laugh. Have you ever done a game night? If you haven’t you just simply must. It’s fun and hilarious at the same time. But those bursts of laughter, my goodness. Just take precaution when you do so because you just control those moments.

It’s never that serious

All in all when I look back and remember these times I just laugh at myself. I am generally a bit of a clumsy person and I am so sure I inherited it because I am definitely not the only one in my family.  But most of these things happened back when I wasn’t really in control of the situation (the situation being the uncontrolled diabetes). But somehow my coordination is actually a bit better now and I have also learned some tricks here and there. The way I work out now and eat and just generally push myself into positivity makes life full of joy and definitely gives you something to laugh about. It’s about life and turning negatives into positives and what keeps you going. My progress in fitness, health and being an all round better person are what keep me going. Be happy, live, learn and enjoy life.  Don’t forget to be thankful then go work out 🙂